And So It Begins
(WARNING: Long post about to commence)

 

     After one of the most challenging seasons of my life I have once again come to that fork in the road. To homeschool or not to homeschool? Monster number one is approaching Kindergarten and after much deliberation and prayer we have come back to homeschool. There is so much uncertainty about public school, in education and in social issues and violence. We want our children to have a firm foundation in their walk with God, a Christian world view. I can't see that being accomplished by handing them over to public school for eight hours a day, where they learn that it's offensive to talk about God or pray to Him. Now, I am not saying it can't be done. I know people who do. I am just saying it's not for us. So we leaned toward Christian private school for awhile. The problem with that was not the cost, if something is a priority you find a way to make it work, it was the constant monkey on my back chanting "homeschool, homeschool, homeschool". I jokingly call it a monkey on my back but really it was a calling that I was trying very hard to ignore and God would just not let me.

     I soothed the nagging homeschool chant by deciding to do Private Christian education but I still  though about homeschool every day. Every day, ALL DAY LONG. Really. I struggled to let it go from my mind but I could not shake it. My dear husband delegated the decision to me because I am the one who would do the brunt of the work and he wanted me to be committed to it, not just doing it half heartedly.
     As many women do I searched out an understanding ear among my friends, seeking different views on the matter. And I prayed and prayed and prayed. I have had two different experiences with trying to find an impartial sounding board for my decision, a decision that my husband had delegated to me. I thought I would consult with several friends that I trusted about the choices before me. One friend believed it was a sin to send her children to public or private school. The conversation consisted of me listening to a long list of reasons why schooling outside the home was wrong. I love her and she does amazing feats each and every day and I applaud her convictions but what I needed was understanding, an open ear and sound and reasonable advice. I took a step back from that relationship for several months after that conversation. At the time it occurred, I had a storm brewing in my life and sending Monster number one to private preschool was the wisest choice for me in that season. If you've read my previous posts you know that we had a very hard 2012. 

     On the far other hand, after many insane occurrences in our country my conviction about homeschooling for Kindergarten intensified. I was trying to talk to a friend about my internal debate, she was an avid public schooler. I get that it was working for her, and that was great, but she wasn't opened to me using her as a sounding board. Why do I bring this up? I bring it up because what she said to me one day set me on a train of thought that made me step out in faith. She brought up kindergarten and I mentioned my search for a private school in the area we were about to make a cross state move to and my dilemma in finding one I liked. Her response made me stop and think. What did she say? Her response was simply, "Well, I am going to be brave and go public."  I agree, it is brave to public school. It's a different philosophy and an accepted norm in our society.
     The question I needed to answer though was: Am I brave enough to homeschool? Was I? Because the only things holding me back were fear and selfishness. I was desperately afraid to fail my kids and I was selfish enough to not do what I felt convicted to do because I might want to read a book or do house work or meet a friend for coffee, without my children. Are these things selfish in and of themselves? No. But if I am ignoring a conviction to do them? Yes.

     I deliberated, I hemmed, I hawed. I prayed. Finally, I succumbed.  I sat down with my husband and told him about my confliction and change of heart. He was on board with me. He just wanted me to be committed and convinced because I was going to be the one doing it. Love that guy. I needed to go through the conflict (or fire if you will) to know whole heartedly that this was what God was calling me to. The moment of that conversation my heart and mind were at peace.

     Making the decision to homeschool is not an easy one for most who travel "the road less traveled" and seeking advice can be as daunting as selecting curriculum. Most people have passionate feeling about the education of their children. Some people think homeschool is crazy and only nuts or fanatics do it. Some thing public school is crazy and only people who don't value (insert a majorly important Character or Developmental trait here) do it. But I have found that no matter the advice (sound or otherwise) you have to really make the choice on your own judgment or conviction. I have heard stories about women who have homeschooled because their friends were doing it, I have never met anyone who did it for this reason, but they were miserable and so were their children. They eventually return to either private or public education and are all the happier for it. I have spoken to women who public school their children while they suffer through some really difficult things and are just too uncertain of themselves to homeschool. But some of them stepped out in faith and did it despite the fear of doing a terrible job and amazing things happened. Their children learned something in mere days or weeks that they didn't learn in years of public school, or hearts were changed or families were united. It's an amazing thing. finding the plan God has for you.

 

     Other Obstacles

     Fear. It's a big obstacle. I had finally gotten past my fear of failure and my fear of losing the "me time" all the non homeschooling moms sing praises of daily. (insert sigh) Next up was the fear of telling people. My in laws were the first on my list of people to avoid telling. Oddly enough, okay it was God. I am sure of it. I was praying about them not badgering us too much once they knew. Education is a biggie with them. A BIGGIE. It came up during a visit at dinner. In Russian they asked my dear husband if we had found a school for Monster #1. I understand just enough to get the gist. GULP! I had let him know I felt it was his job to talk to them about it. You know, he's the head of our house, he's their son, they speak the same language with no barriers... and I was a big old chicken who did not want to argue my points in broken languages. I think that pretty much covers it. We both "knew" they would disapprove. We just knew it. Their response? "Oh. You can do that? Wow. How?" Thank you God. You are mighty.

 

Finding curriculum is not a dilemma in this day and age. It's choosing one that poses the greatest threat to a homeschooling Mama's (or Papa's) sanity. There are thousands of programs and curriculum, resources and supplies. Since deciding to homeschool I have changed my mind on curriculum numerous times. I went from FIAR, MFW, to making my own, to patching a few together. I can laugh at that now. I have finally committed to curriculum and a planner. I have found that I need to be deliberate and have a plan written out. I am not a good "by the seat of my pants" homeschooler. At least, not yet. I am good at piecing things together and coming up with something and bargain hunting. I found a treasure trove of Hooked on Phonics at a kids consignment sale along with four sets of BOB books. Reading curriculum, check. I also found hooked on Bible at a yard sale eons ago for a couple of bucks, new. And hooked on handwriting for seen dollars, brand new, at a thrift store. that was years ago. I kept it because even if I resisted homeschooling (I think I always knew this day was coming) I was planning on helping them at home. I also have an extensive library of books and resources I have found over time and things people have gifted us. It can make it exciting and overwhelming all at once. You want to see scary? Try looking at my Pinterest boards on homeschool. I finally decided on Math U See but could not find a whole set used. I tried piecing it together on Amazon but it always came out costing more than what I would pay from the company new. A fabulous blog/ curriculum resource I have been following for a couple of years now is Confessions of a Homeschooler ( www.confessionofahomeschooler.com ). She has amazing stuff and she often has them for free. I bought her U.S. Road trip geography curriculum and some of her Unit studies on Character (this was free off her blog) and a book study on Charlotte's Web. Go check her out.

 Going it Alone

     I was moving to a new area, even though we had lived there before that was a lifetime ago. We were newly married, I was in the Navy and he had just finished a tour in the Air Force and starting the long road to becoming a Nurse. Now he in is a DNP program in the Air Force and I am a stay at home mother of three. Having a five, three and one year old leaves little time for much else. I prayed long and hard before our move to find like minded friends. Not just acquaintances but friends. Real, True, Genuine Friends. People I could connect with. 

     God is a God that answers prayers. I am a member of BBC. Baby Center, for those unfamiliar. It was a sanity saver during a long deployment and pregnancy ( Oh and the longest winter of my life when both my children were very ill all the time). I was on a birth board (women all due the same month chat...a lot.) and it got slow so a member made a Facebook page for us and it picked up. I offered to help admin it and would go on occasionally and ask random questions to get people talking. Through a random question and random conversation occurred between a lady who lived where I was moving! Turns out I moved six miles from her and we met up one of the first weekends we were here. We are getting together this Saturday for a cook out and to cuddle her newborn. And our husbands like each other. What are the odds? Thank you God. Thank you. Also, some old friends got accepted into the same program and I met another wife from my husbands peers and wham! She homeschools.... God is mighty, yes he is. The church we attending has a homeschool co-op and an umbrella school. Here in the...interesting state of Maryland (where they tax the rain that falls on your roof, no joke) you either need to be accountable to the county or use a private umbrella school through a church or private school who will over see you. So we will meet with them twice a year until we move to another state with all new rules. So, here I am a few months into living in our new home and oddly enough a year and a half away from our next move. I am gearing up to start homeschooling a Kindergartener and Preschooler while chasing a willful toddler about. In His infinite wisdom God has seen fit not to let me do it alone.

     I will endeavor to be more punctual about posting and I look forward to sharing this adventure and all the other occurrences in our crazy home.



     I've been out of commission for awhile. I've had health issues and a preschooler with mono, a toddler who needed ear tube surgery and I had a home birth two months before my husband came home from deployment. Those are the highlights folks. So I've been away. Sadly, I have to say that with all of that homeschooling fell by the wayside. This year my Preschooler will be in preschool and my toddler and infant will be home. I have tons of things to blog about but homeschooling will be revisited in the future and if I learn something about it I will definitely post. My focus in general will be on balancing wife-hood, motherhood and developing as a person. It's a hard balance and many women (my self at the front of the line) struggle to find time for self. I also find it hard in this season, with three kids four and under, to get daily house hold needs met. My household responsibilities are willie nillie right now. They get done when I can fit them in. I have yet to find a good dinner making schedule, routine, etc. They baby gets demanding in the evenings and my dear husband gets home at wacky hours at times. So we dwell in a nutty house right now. And I am gonna tell you how I am trying to find balance. And you get to laugh and cry at my efforts. I will try to update weekly but given I have three kids that may or may not sleep through the night on any given night I ask for Grace in this effort. We have renovations going on in the house and are planning to move for the military in less than a year to, well, we don't know yet. Please feel free to comment and add suggestions to what ever craziness has comes my way and how to deal with it.
     I hope to have a post up next week that has been on my mind for months. I just have to translate it from the million and one thoughts in my head to something readable on screen. Until then God bless.

Hello Again

     It's been awhile since my last post, I know. Let me just say life carries on and blogging takes a back seat. I wanted to post that after a time of travel and a series of serious health issues, I am back. Yah! What I am planning to do for upcoming posts are a series of holiday related activities with my children and then I'll post the out come here. I also plan to do a few cooking experiments and let you know how they turn out. I plan to post photos for proof that I am not just dreaming that I actually did these things, lol.  
     I am planning to be more disciplined in my daily living. This means earlier to bed ( big challenge for me) and early to rise (getting easier). There is another blogger posting 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life. And as soon as I learn how to create a link I will do so, maybe even before I post this;) She's way into it and I have just started, simply because at the time she wanted more discipline I didn't. ;D Well I am pregnant, and have been ill and I have two small children under the age of four with a husband who is being worked over over time. ( I do have more excuses if you'd like them. Send me a reply and I'll let ya have 'em. Free of charge.) Yeah, discipline was not in my plan at the time. But I have seen the light and know that this will make everything on my plate easier to manage, especially since I'll be managing it alone soon. The Hubby is deploying. Sigh. That's all I'm gonna say about that for now. While he is gone I plan to read a book called The Me Project which I hear is kinda similar to the blog I am following. I haven't read it yet but it starts in January. I am doing it with the fabulous ladies of my Oceanfront MOPS group and will keep you posted on my self improving agendas. lol
I am praying this will get me back on track with my quiet time with God and with homeschooling my preschooler. So send me your comments and input and lend me your ear. I look forward to this journey. And please feel free to kick me in the pants if you don't hear from me in more than a week. The plan is a weekly update. Oh, and my pictures from my travels will be up as well.

Where I stand today...

      When I was younger, my mind was filled with all the adventures I would have once I had shucked off the shackles of childhood. I was going to be a world traveler, and thanks to the Navy I am (was?). I was going to be a world renowned writer, uhm still working on that. I was going to see Chicago (check) and New York (check over and over again and again) and other amazing places. Some I have still yet to see and I have been places I never want to see again. I was going to get several degrees (still working on the first). I set little goals and rewards for myself. Once I had been in the Navy for X amount of time and made this rank, (blah blah ,blah) I was going to buy an amazing camera and document my life and take glorious art shots that I would blow up and hang on my walls. So, when I was in the Navy I bough a mediocre camera that almost got the job done. Now I am a mom and student and still much the dreamer I have that camera. I more often than not take pictures of the kids and forget about the amazing art shots I was going to take someday. While we were in NYC recently I found myself wondering around with the camera and not a care in the world. My husband's wonderful parents were looking after the children and my husband was catching up with family and I just lagged behind caught up in the fact that I could take pictures of whatever I wanted. There were no little ones who were in danger of running into the street or who naturally draw my camera lens to them. There was no lovely man questioning, "Why are you taking a picture of that?" I was in my world and could capture and frame it however I liked. So here is a nod to following ones dreams no matter how small.

There was a sculpture in a park while we wondered around Manhattan after walking across the Brooklyn Bridge and I dubbed it Mount Crayon. This is just a close shot.

Mount Crayon!

This tree, no matter how many hundreds of times I walk by it on our visits reminds me of the Wizard of Oz. How would you like it if some one walked by and pulled off a piece of you? Those crazy apple trees!

On a walk in Brooklyn.

This is a shot of some tree roots growing over, around and between the brick boarder in my in-laws neighborhood. 

Thanks for taking the time to look at Kathy's amature art gallory. ;) Till next time!

The War

    When I married the man of my dreams I was certain we would home school and at the time it seemed so far off. I had our first child before I finished my tour in the Navy and Alex was in his final year of Nursing School at ODU. Still home school seemed so far in the distance. A short time later, I left the Navy and Alex returned to the Air Force and I to school. Quickly, baby number two arrived and I struggled to adjust to two very young children. I was surprised to find that adjusting to two young children was much harder than going from no children to one! Abby, our eldest, was only 22 months old when Garrett came along.
     As the decision of home school loomed, much more quickly than anticipated, I warred with myself over the wisdom of the choice. What if I failed? What if I couldn't muster the patience? What if my kids were hindered instead of helped by this endeavor? Then there were the more self-centered questions. What about me? I haven't finished my own education! When will I ever have time to myself again? What about my dreams of being a writer?
     A long drawn out battle has finally come to an end. I will be homeschooling and this summer is a dry run of how my family works with this endeavor. I probably could have chosen something a little less daunting than teaching all of us Russian. Why Russian? This may be the question may be bounding about your mind as you read this. My husband is Russian and his whole family speaks it. My earlier endeavors to learn it were thwarted by sea duty and it slipped into the background of my goals. I have always wanted to incorporate his heritage into our home life and now I am getting serious. Our children are growing and this need to be a part of our daily lives now.
     There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to stop planning and start doing. The time is now.